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What’s Your Mental Age?
You glance at your phone and see a red unread email badge that says '4,812'. How do you cope?
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Ignore it entirely. Notifications are just an illusion meant to stress us out.
Painstakingly spend an hour unsubscribing from Old Navy and Pottery Barn newsletters.
Take a screenshot and post it to your story to flex your absolute chaotic energy.
Call your carrier. Surely the phone is malfunctioning and needs to be returned.
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